Gold’s Legal Minute*GLM*
By Allan Gold, lawyer Montreal and elder law attorney
Vol. 15, #2 –February 29, 2024
OPENING
Retired or Retiring Soon? Take a time-out. Consider this. Your life may depend on it!
Through rose-colored glasses, most of us view retirement as the oasis just beyond the horizon.The time will be our own. We picture it as being free and happy, playing a round of golf, finishing up at the nineteenth hole for beer and chitchat, power-napping and clubbing into the evenings – sporting a 24-7 smile from ear-to-ear. Discard the dream. Except for a few, most of us have trouble after the retirement party and the gold watch.
Inching towards age 65, long-working people try to put on a brave face but they’re afraid of change. On retirement, they expect happy time. Instead many are sad. They find emptiness and loneliness. They struggle to adapt to their post -work world and fear they never will. A few cannot adjust and sink lower. They’re gloomy, even brooding and pessimistic. They take a much darker path. They have a fate which is unfortunately predictable. I’m speaking about real emotional vulnerability here.
Retirement is not an endless holiday, but a new way of life. It’s a complicated matter and a successful one doesn’t just occur. Many people don’t know how to make it happen. If not prepared, the euphoria of the first months could give way to psychological and financial distress. So that’s the problem. Here’s part of the fix.
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“Occupation and work aren’t our identity.When we stop defining ourselves by what we do, we can find out who we really are. ” —Allan J. Gold
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ISSUES TO ADDRESS
There are areas which you must address:
1. Sense of Community – “Socializing is fun and critical for your well-being.”
The danger is being cut-off, lonely and feeling that nobody cares. Time spent alone and brooding contributes to or is a symptom of mental illness. In contrast, remaining socially active and connected with others is crucial.
2. Purpose – “Having aims and aspirations are important!”
A person always needs a sense of purpose in life. If directed toward a specific end, he or she can achieve goals and feel satisfaction. It is a reason to be alive. When aimless, usually nothing gets done and life is empty. Without purpose, he or she may not be able to continue. Such an individual is prone to saying, “I don’t want to live anymore” and he or she is more likely to die sooner rather than later.
3. Structure – “There’s risk in irregular and unorganized.”
With more freedom, he or she can do as he or she pleases. But it is not a good idea to have free time, morning, noon and night. Too much of anything is a bad thing. There should be some organization in life. One way is to take an agenda and make a year-long plan. First, one should enter the annual items on the social calendar plus two-semester programs, classes, courses, etc. To this there should be added family get-togethers on legal/religious holidays, preset series of meetings, appointments and regular exercise sessions. As well, he or she should note trips, vacations and already-announced events.
Other pastimes and errands are done in the open slots. With a 12-month planner, a person has a base to which he or she may build an active life. It should be remembered that having something scheduled forces a person out of the house. And he or she needs to look forward to new experiences.
4. Health Perception – “Is the glass half empty or half full?”
This is a person’s view of his or her physical and mental well-being. It also covers freedom from disease, pain, defect and soundness/normality of physical and mental functions. And as capacities diminish, one seeks aids to make life simpler. As per the ‘half empty or half full’ idiom, it’s best to focus on the positives in your health and see such as a cause for optimism.
5. Financial Security – “Live successfully within your means.”
This is about taking a hard look at personal finances. It’s necessary to understand the limits of one’s comfort zone.
6. Life Satisfaction – “Is it ever enough?”
This is about a person being undisturbed by a desire for something more or different. In contrast, he or she is meeting his or her needs, expectations or wishes. It implies a filling of requirements to the degree to which he or she will have a level of inner contentment together with freedom from doubt or anxiety. Some people are satisfied by great wealth, while others are sated with a more modest but secure income and lifestyle. Still others recognize that real wealth is not a matter of mere money and riches, but find life’s treasure in the service of others. Or it might relate more to things private, beyond one’s skin, inclusive of family life, house and domesticity.
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“Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway.” —Unknown
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TRAINING EXERCISES
Mindset Makeover -Living for Today
- Stop focusing on material possessions
- Spend less time thinking (or rather, worrying) about tomorrow
- Embrace a ‘Blank Canvas’ state of mind. With nothing decided, you’re free to decide what should happen or be done. Indeed, it’s the Art of Everyday
- Ask, “What will today bring?” See it as being full of opportunity: everywhere you go, everything you do, every person you meet has the potential to bring immense happiness today.
- Do what you want. Try new things, These experiences will likely make great memories.
Getting Connected
- Join up. It’s good to feel socially, emotionally, spiritually, or professionally linked with others.
- Reach out. It’s important for one to have strong friendships and robust relationships.
Be Creative
- Let your imagination roam freely.
- Come up with original ideas, whether in the production of an artistic work, photography ,woodworking, gardening, etc. Indeed, it’s the ‘Art of the Everyday.’
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“Retire from your job, but never retire your mind.” —Unknown
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CONCLUSION
Although death and eternity ultimately will follow, a good life is still possible “after work.” Retirement is a special time and has its attractions. Retiring well requires a different mindset and key skill sets,
P.S. “Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials—much to live on and much to live for.” —Unknown
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NOTICE – CAUTION –DISCLAIMER. The material provided herein is of a general nature, strictly for informational purposes. The interpretation and analysis is not to be misapplied to a personal situation with a particular set of facts. Under no circumstances, are the herein suggestions and tips, intended to bring a reader to the point of acting or not acting, but instead, the hope is that they are to be a cause for pause and reflection. It is specifically declared that this content is not to be a replacement of, or a substitution for, legal or any other appropriate advice. To the contrary, for more information on these presents, related subjects or any other questions, it is the express recommendation of the author that everyone seek out and consult a qualified professional or competent adviser.
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